Monday, April 09, 2007

Jack's Back!

Bauer-769858 Jack Bauer once downloaded the entire Internet onto his PDA.

Jack Bauer does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Jack Bauer goes killing.

Jack Bauer thought the movie "Mission: Impossible" was completely unrealistic. No mission is impossible.

When Jack Bauer sneezes, God blesses him.

Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.

Oil and Water don't mix, unless Jack Bauer tells them to.

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Little did he know fear itself fears Jack Bauer.

When Jack Bauer turns on an Xbox the screen just says "You Win" and turns itself off again.

During the 18 months Jack Bauer was believed dead, CTU saved over $1 billion on ammunition.

Jack Bauer tells Bob Barker when the price is right.

When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".

If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.

via

Tags: ,

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

the whole jack bauer shit is getting really moronic and was never funny

Anonymous said...

I think its funny as hell

Anonymous said...

omg, another one! Thank you, I love them!

Anonymous said...

My question is "Who is Jack Bauer?".