Friday, March 23, 2007

Jack Facts

Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.

Jack Bauer does not let women on top during sex. Why?
Because Jack Bauer never fucks up.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.

Jack_20bauer-799991Jack Bauer once opened a can of whoop ass. All he found inside was a mirror.

Jack Bauer doesn't take fingerprints, he takes fingers.

Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Jack Bauer went as himself one year for Halloween.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Jack Bauer went out to the desert, and was bitten by a rattlesnake. The snake died.

There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.

When Jack Bauer is running, you'd better fucking run as well, if he's chasing you, you should just shoot yourself.

The truth may hurt, but it doesn't hurt as much as Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer does not need to use a silencer... he just tells his gun to be quiet.

When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyones lines are translated except for Jack's. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer.

If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.

Jack Bauer doesn't eat honey. He chews bees.

Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team.

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