Saturday, March 18, 2006

The Shower Project

Shower 98Gay man showers with 100 women.

But why?

Woman # 98 at right.

See them all.   

Note: No real nudity here… just weirdness.

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Toaster

Toaster

The last time I saw my hand...

Hippo hand

St. Pattie's Day hangover

Drunk mice

Irony

How-ironic-6de

Choked on dinner

Choked-on-dinner-d6b

How to catch a mouse - cheap

From Scaramouchblog:

I think I may have a mouse in the house. And if there's one, then you know there's many more.

We have an old cat that's going toothless and the dog just had surgery, so they've been no help at all. Therefore, it's left up to me to find a solution.

So with the power of Google I found a low-tech solution worth trying:
How to catch a mouse without a mousetrap:

Nice_mouse_trap- Get a toilet paper tube and crease two lines to form a flat sided tunnel.
- Put a treat on one end of the tube: A cracker and dab of peanut butter works great.
- Get a tall (at least 20 inches) bucket. A trash can works well.
- Balance the tube precariously on the edge of a table or counter with the treat hanging directly over the tall sided receptacle.
- The mouse will scurry to the treat (they like tunnels) and fall into the trap.

Now, ….. what do you do with the mouse?

Rifle guitar

Rifle_guitar1

 

The ever changing Las Vegas Strip

Westward hoThings are constantly changing in Las Vegas.   Bigger and better has always been the way in Sin City.  According to the Las Vegas Advisor, nine casinos have closed since January 2004 and a few more are expected to go this year.

Since January 1, 2004, the following casinos have closed: Binion's Horseshoe (subsequently reopened as Binion's); Castaways (formerly Showboat); Town Hall; Key Largo; Bourbon Street; Westward Ho; Boardwalk; Lady Luck; and San Remo (subsequently reopened as Hooters).

The Stardust is scheduled to close sometime around the end of this year. The Tropicana is rumored to be closing sometime this year. The Frontier is rumored to be closing sometime next year.

StardustI stayed at the Stardust during a visit last November (I thought it was a great place at a very good value). 

I’ve also stayed at the Westward Ho a few times over the years and was surprised it was closed.  It was probably the best value I’ve had on the strip.  

Las Vegas is becoming more and more expensive.  They’re phasing out the $3.95 meals and moving towards award winning chefs and very expensive dinners at fine restaurants.   Deals like this won’t be found anymore.  The hotels are going more and more up-scale (and expensive) all the time.

I’ll miss the old Las Vegas….but I always look forward to visiting to see what is new.

Friday, March 17, 2006

St. Patrick's Day jokes

 SPDQ: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.

 Q: How did the Irish Jig get started? 
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! 

 Q: What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife?
A: A bachelor.

Q: What do you call an Irishman that bounces off the walls?
A: Rick O'Shea

 "I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day."
"Oh, really?" 
"No, O'Reilly!"

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders 3 pints of Guinness.
The bartender questions him as to why and the Irishman replies that since his two brothers moved away he drinks a beer for each of them.
He does this for a few months until one day he walks in and only orders 2 pints of Guinness.
That bartender is dismayed and tries to console him on the apparent loss of his brother.
The Irishman laughs and tells the bartender that both his brothers are fine, he just gave up drinking himself.

McCarthy walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, he started to leave.
“Excuse me,” said a customer, who was puzzled over what McCarthy had done. “What was that all about?”
“Nothing,” he replied, “my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives.”

There were 3 Englishmen in a pub sipping some beer, when they noticed an Irishman come in a order a pint of Guinness. They decided to have some fun with him.
The first Brit walked over to him and said, "I hear your St. Patrick liked to dress in women's clothes." The Irishman remained silent--didn't even acknowledge the Brit. The Brit walked back to his friends and told them what had happened.
Shocked at the lack of response, the second Brit walks over. "I hear your St. Patrick liked to cavort with the sheep (know what I mean? nudge, nudge)." Again, nothing.
The third Brit told the others, "I'll show you how to do it." He walked over and told the Irishman, "I hear your St. Patrick was an Englishman."
At this the Irishman lowered his beer, turned to the Brit and said, "Yeah, that's what your friends were trying to tell me."

Just great

Great White Great Black

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Spot the intruder

Spot the intruder...
That is Sooo bad…but Soooo funny.

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Taking the bull by the horns - or maybe not

Having Balls (animated)

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Definition: Quickie

Longtime

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Surprise

Fat duck_surprise

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Dell computers are great for porno

Computer guy

QVC Testimonial

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What happens when your lease is up?

Liberty Caskets

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Best headline of the day...so far

Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in Flames

Flyingcow

 

 

 

 

 

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Don't do it!

Do not pressI’m warning you.

You’ll be sorry.

Don’t do it.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Doppelganger

Tn_twinsThis is weird - I thought it was some kind of new weather radar at first.

Incredible true cases of exact doubles who appear often as a forecast of death or disaster, and remarkable stories of people who can be in two places at the same time.

Do you have an exact double somewhere in the world? Can a person be in two places at once? There are many intriguing accounts throughout history of people who claim to have either encountered apparitions of themselves - their doppelgangers - or have experienced the phenomenon of bilocation, being in two separate locations at the very same time.

Read more.

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Thursday, March 16, 2006

The wonders of nature

Nature-is-nice-5ac

An accountant joke

Q: Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
A: He couldn't budge it.

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Warm water fountain

Fountain

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Down time

Down_time...

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15 pound hamburger

15lb burgerThe Belly Buster, made with 11 pounds of ground beef and 6 pounds of bun and toppings.  Cost: $39.95 (Fries are extra).

If you can eat the burger in less than five hours it’s free, plus you get a free T-shirt, $350 in cash, and your name on the pub’s wall of fame.

Available at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield Pennsylvania.

Denny’s has a full menu (15 pages) including 31 varieties of wings and 31 different burgers not including the 15 pounder.

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Jack is always on call

Jack at rest

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The best things in life

Fridge doorHere are the top 10 from the list of 57 Best things in life from James Huggin’s Refrigerator Door:

  • 1.  Falling in love.
     
  • 2.  Laughing so hard your face hurts.
     
  • 3.  A hot shower.
     
  • 4.  No lines at the Super Wal-Mart.
     
  • 5.  A special glance.
     
  • 6.  Getting mail.
     
  • 7.  Taking a drive on a pretty road.
     
  • 8.  Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
     
  • 9.  Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
     
  • 10. Hot towels out of the dryer.
  • Getting mail?   I like getting mail, but it would be waaaay down on my list.

    The complete list.

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    Northwest Airlines to charge more for aisle seats

    NwaCHICAGO (Reuters) - Struggling U.S. airlines, looking for new ways to generate revenue, are getting bolder about charging for pretty much anything that makes air travel a little more comfortable -- including aisle seats.

    First came charging passengers for in-flight meals. Then, reservations done by phone cost extra. And now, one major airline, Northwest Airlines Corp. (Other OTC:NWACQ - news), is trying to charge passengers for the right to sit in aisle seats and emergency-exit rows.

    The day is coming when carriers will require special fees even to check a bag, experts say.

    Analysts told Reuters that travelers should brace for more nickel and diming as airlines seek to recoup losses from soaring fuel costs and competitive pressures. Airlines are likely to test passengers' willingness to pay for an ever wider array of services.

    Read the story.

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    How to fake a picture of a UFO

    UFO-pix-4I said fake, not take.  Apparently it’s pretty easy. 

     As the producer responsible for bringing Cosmonova's* latest public planetarium show, "UFO-The Truth is Here," to reality, I knew that one aspect of the UFO phenomenon that would be important to cover would be that of fake photographs. Ever since so-called flying saucers were first spotted in the 1940s, a variety of people around the world have created fake images that they claimed were authentic. The vast majority of these images have been exposed as the frauds they are. And yet even today there are those who continue this peculiar hobby. Rather than feature such photos as part of the program, I thought that the best example for our audiences would be to provide examples that were made specifically for the show.

    Here is how one guy did it.

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    Picture of the moon from an airplane

    Moon from airplane

    Thanks Phyllis

    Wednesday, March 15, 2006

    Threesome

    Kinky!
    Threesome.......

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    What your dog does while you're at work

    Floating dog

    Error - Tattoo not found

    Error-tattoo-not-found-6ca

    Illusion

    These are so cool.
    Child illusion

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    Over the river and through the bridge...

    Crane accident1

    Crane accident2

    More pictures here.

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    Dustpan band

    Dustpan whistle

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    The lonely business trip

    Hotel signI checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when  you're calling for a cab. I grabbed a card on my way in.

    It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl,  bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the  right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up... you know the kind.

    So I'm in my room and figure, "What the heck, I'll give her a call."

    "Hello?" the woman says.

    Wow! She sounded sexy.

    "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it.
    Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want, baby! Now, how does that sound?"

    She says, "That sounds fantastic.... but for an outside line, Sir, you need to press 9."

    Thanks Phyllis

    Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

    Dog21. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all !!!
                  
    2. Yelling at me for barking.. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG,  YOU IDIOT!
     
    3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.  Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
                
    4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!
                   
    5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
               
    6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
                  
    7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
                   
    8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
                    
     9.Dog sweaters. Hello ???, Haven't you noticed the fur?

    10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.   Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
                    
    Now lay off me on some of these thing's, We both know who's boss here!!!  You don't see me picking up your poop do you ???

    Thanks Nikki

     

    Tuesday, March 14, 2006

    When geeks get married

    When-geeks-get-married-1e5

    At least they're not toed and find

    Towed and find

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    DUI - Kentucky style

    Only a person in Kentucky could think of this.

    Breathalyzer 1    From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Harlan, Kentucky. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

        The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

        "I doubt it," said the truly proud Hillbilly.    "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

    Thanks Phyllis

     

    Thirst quencher

    Thirsty Horse...

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    Take a hard left

    Viagra as a city

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    Monday, March 13, 2006

    Bedtime prayers

    Bedtime Prayers

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    Gotcha!

    Pigeon bomb

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    Best accidental discoveries

    1. Viagra
    Men being treated for erectile dysfunction should salute the working stiffs of Merthyr Tydfil, the Welsh hamlet where, in 1992 trials, the gravity-defying side effects of a new angina drug first popped up. Previously, the blue-collar town was known for producing a different kind of iron.

    2. LSD
    Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann took the world's first acid hit in 1943, when he touched a smidge of lysergic acid diethylamide, a chemical he had researched for inducing childbirth. He later tried a bigger dose and made another discovery: the bad trip.

    3. X-rays
    Several 19th-century scientists toyed with the penetrating rays emitted when electrons strike a metal target. But the x-ray wasn't discovered until 1895, when German egghead Wilhelm R├Ântgen tried sticking various objects in front of the radiation - and saw the bones of his hand projected on a wall.

    4. Penicillin
    Scottish scientist Alexander Fleming was researching the flu in 1928 when he noticed that a blue-green mold had infected one of his petri dishes - and killed the staphylococcus bacteria growing in it. All hail sloppy lab work!

    5. Artificial sweeteners
    Speaking of botched lab jobs, three leading pseudo-sugars reached human lips only because scientists forgot to wash their hands. Cyclamate (1937) and aspartame (1965) are byproducts of medical research, and saccharin (1879) appeared during a project on coal tar derivatives. Yummy.

    6. Microwave ovens
    Microwave emitters (or magnetrons) powered Allied radar in WWII. The leap from detecting Nazis to nuking nachos came in 1946, after a magnetron melted a candy bar in Raytheon engineer Percy Spencer's pocket.

    7. Brandy
    Medieval wine merchants used to boil the H20 out of wine so their delicate cargo would keep better and take up less space at sea. Before long, some intrepid soul - our money's on a sailor - decided to bypass the reconstitution stage, and brandy was born. Pass the Courvoisier!

    8. Vulcanized rubber
    Rubber rots badly and smells worse, unless it's vulcanized. Ancient Mesoamericans had their own version of the process, but Charles Goodyear rediscovered it in 1839 when he unintentionally (well, at least according to most accounts) dropped a rubber-sulfur compound onto a hot stove.

    9. Silly Putty
    In the early 1940s, General Electric scientist James Wright was working on artificial rubber for the war effort when he mixed boric acid and silicon oil. V-J Day didn't come any sooner, but comic strip image-stretching practically became a national pastime.

    10. Potato chips
    Chef George Crum concocted the perfect sandwich complement in 1853 when - to spite a customer who complained that his fries were cut too thick - he sliced a potato paper-thin and fried it to a crisp. Needless to say, the diner couldn't eat just one.

    From  via

    Fainting goats

    From Damn Interesting:

    Fainting goatMost of the internet savvy, it seems, are somewhat lacking in knowledge relating to the interesting topic of "bizarre domesticated animals that people breed for fun." To help reduce this unfortunate trend, I introduce the fainting goat.

    The small, domesticated goat carries the hereditary genetic disorder called myotonia congenita which causes the legs of this little critter to, when startled or excited, go rigidly stiff for about ten seconds.

    As far as I can tell, most people breed these varmints mostly to snap open umbrellas at them, and watch as they scatter like bowling pins. In the past however, fainting goats were bred for circuses and menageries as food; the fainting goat would be placed in an enclosed location with an animal that needed to hunt, such as a lion. The chase didn't last long once the goat was startled by the giant cat bearing down on it. The lion got to hunt, the animal's keepers didn't have to let it out of its cage–everybody wins. Except the goat.

    Video of the fainting goats here.

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    What's your favorite Google search trick?

    GoogleHere are just a few:

    • I love that you can type "track xxxx" with xxxx a UPS / fedex / DHL / USPS tracking number, and get the info right away. And the dictionary definitions are great, plus it does math! Awesome. I love teh Google.
    •  Go to local.google.com and doing something like: pizza near 123 Some Street, MyCity
    •  Typing a movie title with your city or zipcode gets you showetimes, and reviews.
    •  I use it as a dictionary all the time.   google search define:word
    • If I were teaching a class, I wouldn't overlook the simple, magical quotation marks. You'd be surprised how many people don't know about them.
    •  The ? wildcard is quite impressive. For example: 1 cup =? ounces
    • Google two cities, get airfare links.
    • Find lyrics to a song:   "Bittersweet Symphony" lyrics
    • link:[url of a website you are interested in] tells you what other sites are linking to it.
    • Googlism - what google knows about you.
    • googlefight - fight between two google searches - Death and taxes! God and Satan! Newsfilter and Funfilter
    • blag (purple|monkey|dishwasher) is the equivalent of searching for: blag and one of either purple, monkey or dishwasher

    Many many more here.

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    There is a God

    Water_SampleWoman Gets Beer From Her Kitchen Faucet

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    Shark Tale

    Divertrgh9iu3htmaniac

    Thanks Phyllis