Dear NSA

Dear NSA is here to help harness the collective wisdom of everyday folks, just like you.

Got a question or need a little advice?   The federal government can probably help you out.  Through their information gathering techniques, they’ve learned quite  a bit.

Here are some recent Questions and Answers:

Q: My wife suggested that I get this new haircut, how does it look?

A: It's fine -- but what's up with the pedicure?

Q: Where did I leave my keys?

A: Inside pocket of your gray jacket (it's hanging in the front closet).

 

Q: What should I get my wife for her birthday?

A: Blue sundress from Calypso. Size 12. Also note that she likes to have her toes licked.

 

Q: Can I substitute margarine for butter in my Toll House cookie recipe?

A: We know that you've been smoking pot.

 

Q: What should I have for dinner?

A: You've been eating a lot of Chinese and pizza -- how about some Turkish?

 

Q: Should I be worried about this red bump on my arm?

A: Nevermind that bump -- try exercising and eating more soy protein and fiber to get your cholesterol down (285 is dangerously high).

 

Dear NSA