Thursday, October 13, 2005

It's no wonder people hate lawyers.....

As a small business owner I recently found out that I am party to a class action lawsuit against Visa and MasterCard.  They were accused of somehow forcing merchants to accept debit signature cards.  Visa and MasterCard were also accused of trying to monopolize the debit card business in the U.S..

Anyway, they settled the lawsuit, agreeing to pay $3.05 billion (YES – BILLION).  This money would be distributed to merchants after attorney’s fees, expenses, etc.

Lawsuit2 (Small)

Cool, I thought.  “I'm in the money….”,  I sang to myself.   A share of $3.05 BILLION bucks!  Life doesn’t get much better than this!  It's like winning the Powerball Jackpot…. TWICE!  Heck – ten times!

I received a six page document explaining the lawsuit and how to fill out the additional six page claim form.    Of course I have to research my records for my credit card and debit card sales from October 25, 1992 through July 31, 2003, but hey, “I’m in the money…..” 

Well, lo and behold……. the claim form has a section where it tells me approximately how much of that $3.05 BILLION I can expect to receive as my share of the settlement. Well, what to my surprise did appear in the little box on the form:

Lawsuit1 (Small)

$1  –  ONE FRIGGING DOLLAR!   Maybe it was a mistake.  Maybe it was supposed to say $1 Billion … or $1 Million… or even $1 Thousand…… or could it be just $1 Hundred?  NO, it’s $1 (One Dollar).

I had to look at the first document where it says the settlement is $3.05 BILLION… then I read the fine print…… “after the attorney’s fees, expenses and costs of notice and administration…”.  That explained a lot to me.

To see if they could piss me off any more, they sent me a return envelope with no stamp on it.  So I have to decide… do I spend the time researching 11 years of sales and the time to fill out a six page claim form so I can get my just reward:  $1… minus the 37 cent stamp to mail it… leaving me with a net of $0.63?  I have some decisions to make.

I can now understand the following statement a little better:

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

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